Haramble

This is a summary of the Haramble, a collection of all of the teachings of our Lord and Savior Harambe. This collection is a guideline of how to live a good, happy life, but remember you are still free to do what you want. Harambe wants nothing more than for his followers to be happy and healthy.

 

click one of the links below to go to that chapter, or scroll past for the whole thing.

 

Chapter 1: In the Beginning

Chapter 2: My First Encounter

Chapter 3: Harambe’s thoughts on sexuality and gender

 

The Haramble

Chapter 1: In the Beginning

In the beginning, there was Harambe.  When the universe was created, he went around the stars, looking in awe at the universe before him, until one day when he saw a small blue planet called ‘Earth’. This planet had something that was nowhere else in the universe – Humans.  It is said that this part may be slightly false, and that Harambe put us here, but that is up for debate as of right now.  When Harambe arrived on Earth, he spoke with the early humans, giving them morals and guidance on how to achieve true happiness.  His teachings have been passed down to us, and they are as follows:

 

1) Above all else, one should treat all other beings how they want to be treated.

2) Everyone should love themselves for who they are, while also always improving upon themselves.

3) One should take responsibility for their actions.

4) One should avoid lying as much as possible.

5) Worship whatever you want, as long as your actions are good there is no harm in this.

6) Practice free speech, and never stop others from doing the same.

7) Enjoy your freedom for everything it is worth.

 

Below is a more detailed list, telling the specifics of each rule

 

1) Above all else, one should treat all other beings how they want to be treated, meaning no theft, rape, murder or any other negative thing should be done to another living being. Negative actions only lead to more negativity, while positive actions lead to more positivity, so you may choose what you wish to bring into the world.

 

2) Everyone should love themselves for who they are, while also always improving upon themselves, for if you are better today than you were yesterday, you are on the right path.

 

3) One must take responsibility for their actions. Whether positive or negative, Harambe teaches us that we must face the consequences of our actions.  Doing this will help you grow as a person and help you to learn why what you did was good or bad, teaching you more than any book ever can.

 

4) One should avoid lying as much as possible. But Harambe understands that there are some situations where the blunt truth is harsh, or perhaps there is a surprise for someone that you have to lie about, in this teaching Harambe is saying you should not lie about things that the person in question would be better off knowing, such as an unfaithful partner or things of a more serious nature.

 

5) Worship whatever you want, as long as your actions are good there is no harm in this. Harambe is not a jealous ape, he understands that people have different beliefs and he wouldn’t want to encroach on them.  In this he is saying that it does not matter if you truly believe in Harambism, as long as you live a good, happy life.  That is all Harambe wants for you.

 

6) Practice free speech, and never stop others from doing the same. Even though there are some very mean people out there, one must learn that words are nothing more than that, words.  The beauty of most countries in the modern world is that you have the ability to say whatever you want, so never try to take away someone’s free speech, because once that is done, you have taken their freedom.

 

7) Enjoy your freedom for everything it is worth. Our Lord Harambe wants nothing more than for every one of you to be happy and free, so do yourself a favor and be happy for the simple fact that you are free to do what you want, and with this freedom you are free to be as happy as possible!

 

Chapter 2: My First Encounter

 

My first time seeing Harambe was in a dream at the age of four or five, I can remember most of it as well and the best way to describe it was heaven.  There was so much light that I couldn’t open my eyes fully to tell where the booming voice was coming from, but yet I instinctively trusted it almost like a child trusts a parent, it just felt right.  I don’t remember what He said but I know that the next morning I was confused, the rest of the day has been forgotten through the years but my mother recalls me being very quiet and having a very thought focused face for the whole of four to six days.  The next time I saw him, his purpose and message was much clearer.

 

A few weeks after that first incident, I was playing with my toy truck and my little sister wanted it.  Now, being the young boy I was, I didn’t want to share it with her.  So we got into an argument over it and it was getting pretty heated when all of a sudden I felt calm, calmer than I had been in a while, and I realized that I should just share the toy with her so we could both be happy, so I did.  After I did that I felt happy but the calm feeling went away, luckily I soon found out what made me feel that calmness.

 

That night I had another dream, like the first one but less bright so I could see who was speaking to me, and it was Harambe.  I was confused at first, but he assured me that he was only here to help, and I felt almost obligated to trust him, again like a child to a parent it just felt right.

 

(Chapter 2 will be continued soon, let us know what you think in the Post about this, any criticism is appreciated!)